Thoughts About Marriage on Our Anniversary

by Khaleef Crumbley on August 17, 2010

in Christian Living, Marriage

Post image for Thoughts About Marriage on Our Anniversary

Well, today is my 4th wedding anniversary! I thought about whether it was appropriate to write this before we hit one of those “multiple of 5″ milestones; also, because this is a personal finance website, I figured this wasn’t the right place.

I’m going to write it anyway! :-o

I can’t say that married life has been a huge shock to me. Before we got married, we talked about almost everything concerning marriage. We are also both dedicated to honoring God in our marriage, and that is the most important thing a couple can have.

I wish I could just end it there, but that wouldn’t be honest. We have been through a lot in the last four years, and especially this last one! Personal issues have come up, both of our families have had their share of struggles and health concerns, and we’ve experienced a few financial setbacks. We both suffer from chronic illnesses, and my wife has suffered so much over the last year.

I just want to thank those who have helped our marriage be successful:

God:

But even through all those things I mentioned above, we have grown closer to each other and God! We have tried to be more loving, kind, honorable, and selfless over time. It has been my daily prayer that I lead her into a deeper walk with Christ and that I show her honor. I love the way that 1 Peter 3:7 describes it:

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.

I have to make sure that I am sensitive to her needs, feelings, fears, and emotions. For me, this is much tougher than it sounds. I am a very logical thinker by nature, and it is hard for me to understand when someone’s emotions are more “active” than mine (which is pretty much everybody).

In those times, I have to interact with her as a “weaker vessel”. Well, how would you handle a weak vessel? With care, using soft hands and words; you would be tender, always focusing on the delicacy of the vessel. The same is true in marriage. This is something that I pray for myself every day!

God has given me a lot of grace in this area. I can honestly say that I’m glad that my wife isn’t wired the way I am – we avoid so much trouble because she is able to balance out my thinking!

God calls marriage the “grace of life”, and I believe that it is the best type of relationship that we can have while on earth! God gave us marriage as a gift. He gave me my wife so that she can help me live a life that gives Him honor. She is my companion and the one that God chose to complete me and to cover my inadequacies and deficiencies.

I also pray that our communication is uplifting and that we only speak out of love. It can be so easy to become irritated by the little things your spouse does – I mean, we have to live with them 24/7! Something that you just overlook while dating, or you don’t realize because you aren’t living together, can become the most annoying thing in the world to you :-? !

So we pray to be forgiving, loving, encouraging, kind, and have a very short memory! We dated for 5 years before getting married, and in the 9 years (see muffin, I’m counting the first 5 years ;-) ) that we’ve been together we never really argued. But even with that, I can see a change in the way that we communicate with each other, after we made this the focus of our prayers! God is so faithful to those who try to live for Him (even when we lose sight of that), and He deserves any praise and thanks for our marriage!

Family:

We have been blessed to have wonderful families. Her parents, siblings, aunts, uncle, godparents, niece, and nephews all treat me like I’m a part of the family. Even her sister-in-law (her brother’s wife) treats me like a brother! They have been such a blessing to our marriage – meddling, ungodly in-laws can be such a burden and stress on a marriage!

My wife's family at our wedding

My family absolutely loves my wife! My parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins get along with her very well. Again, they never come with the typical “helpful suggestions”, comments, or criticisms that families can be known for. I know of so many marriages that have been destroyed because of discord between the families. God has really blessed us to have loving, supportive families that know how to avoid stirring up trouble!

My family at our wedding

I love our families and wouldn’t trade them for anything!

Friends:

Both of us have very loyal and long-standing friends. They have gone from just a friend of one to now being a friend of both. It is amazing to see how quickly my friends just cast me aside for her :-o , and her friends have embraced me as well! They have always been supportive of us and have encouraged us to follow God.

Having loving friends has helped to keep our marriage strong, and we love you all!

Church Family:

Having a godly, Christ-centered, bible-teaching church has made a huge impact on our marriage. Right before our engagement, we both came out of some tough situations with our former churches. Having a place where we can consistently hear God’s word, and share with other believers is wonderful. Since obedience to God is the most important thing in our lives, it really helps to have other people around us who have the same objective!

My Wife:

I really don’t know what to say about my wife! She is truly a gift from God, and I thank Him everyday for putting her in my life!

She helps to keep me grounded, she always speaks well of me to others and will only point out a weakness in private. She is constantly praying for and with me, and she is my best friend!

She has been so loving, forgiving, a great listener, compassionate, tender, wise, and godly. I pray that I can live up to the honor of leading her to a closer relationship with God, and sharing in the “grace of life”!

I want my love for her to be more than just words or gifts, I want my actions and demeanor to demonstrate the affections of my heart!

My Beautiful Wife

To my wife:

You are the most wonderful wife and friend! God gave me more than I ever hoped or prayed for in you! I am far from perfect, but please know that I am grieved whenever my flaws and sins affect you, and in my service to God, you are my first priority! For as long as God allows us to walk through this life together, we will be one flesh.

I will try my best to love you like “Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.” ~ Ephesians 5:25-27

My primary goal in life is to lead us in such a way that you would be sanctified, purified by God’s word, and living a life that is holy and blameless.

I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you!

Love always,

Your grateful husband

Us

© 2010, KNS Financial, LLC. All rights reserved.

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{ 37 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Cathy

Wow Khaleef! What a beautiful ‘letter’ to your beloved! It is truly a great testimony! ♥♥♥

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2 Dottie

Beautiful!!

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3 Kristen

This is an absolutely beautiful posting. Khaleef and Sherrian, your commitment to God and to each other is so inspiring! I praise Jesus for both of you, my dear friends. Now I will go find some tissues to wipe away my tears! God Bless.

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4 Aspiring Millionaire

Your wedding day looks gorgeous! You guys look so happy. It’s great to read such a heartfelt and honest post! :)

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5 Khaleef Crumbley

@ Shawnna, how could you spell my name wrong?

@ Kevin, thanks! I definitely feel like I’m rich!

@ Paul, thank you! I pray that God will bless you in your marriage as well.

@ Greg, 21 years is such a blessing!

@ Kay Lynn, thanks!

@ Matt, I pray that I never take my marriage for granted!

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6 Matt SF

You’re a lucky fella! Best wishes for your future together.

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7 Kay Lynn @ Bucksome Boomer

Khaleef, you have such a beautiful bride. Happy anniversary!

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8 Greg

Congratulations! Never wait for a “milestone” to tell of the love you have for your wife. It is my prayer that you continue to experience the joy that God has planned for you both.

We recently celebrated our 21st anniversary and I can honestly say that it has been a tremendous blessing to know that I married the person that God planned for me to spend the rest of my life with.

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9 Paul Williams@Provident Planning

I enjoyed this post, Khaleef! I don’t mind it when bloggers go off-topic every now and then, especially if it helps you get to know them better.

My wife and I have been married just over a year, so I appreciate your words and especially your comments about communication and praying for each other and your relationship. That is key and will establish a strong foundation in the Lord! Blessings to you and your wife!!!

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10 Kevin@InvestItWisely

Khaleef, you are truly blessed and you are perhaps one of the richest men on this world. You are filled with love for your wife and family, and you can enjoy the richness of the relationships you share together.

Here’s to a long, prosperous, and happy life together for you both!

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11 Shawnna

awww khaleed this is beautiful. i really enjoyed this. tell your wife hi and i know she misses me. later big bro. text me

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12 Sherrian Crumbley

I also wanted to thank everyone for your words of congratulations, encouragement, and advice. As Khaleef already stated, your comments will be something we will revisit time and time again, and will always hold dear.

As you can probably imagine, I was crying the first few times I read this. And in moving past what Khaleef wrote concerning me, I just found this to be such a beautiful, articulate, open post that I was blown away. Anyone who knows Khaleef knows that his choice to be this publicly expressive is a very big deal! Sharing his thoughts comes quite naturally (and often – hehe), but sharing his heart with his readers like this – is remarkable.

After reflecting on our relationship, I am so humbled and thankful for the grace given to us in our perspective of marriage and each other. We will continue to strive after God’s way, and pray daily that we don’t wander on our own paths. We will continue to consider one another more than we do ourselves. As Khaleef so eloquently stated, we will continue to pray for and with each other – putting our marriage as our first priority and ministry, and not consider our relationship an afterthought because we are used to each other. That happens so often, the people closest to us are the ones we recklessly hurt and easily take for granted.

As with many things in life, people always believe that experience is the only teacher. Honestly, we have never accepted that for any area of our life. We know and believe that the Word of God is our standard and guide, and because of that, our lives and marriage should be more than a series of ‘falls and recoveries’ to learn lessons.

For our friends and loved ones, we ask you to continue to love and encourage us as we commit to do the same for you. I pray that however long the Lord blesses us to have each other, the words Khaleef shared will only be more solidified in our lives.

To all who took the time to comment, thank you again. I am grateful for every thought shared.

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13 Khaleef Crumbley

I want to thank everybody for your wonderful, heartfelt, and encouraging comments. I plan to come back to this article often, just to read your kind words.

@ Luce, just be sure to have Kerlis read this. Yeah, you guys are now the “old married couple”!

@ Car Negotiation Coach, you should show this to your wife article. She may create a blog and dedicate it to you! ;-)

@ Cheena, thank you for your prayers and support!

@ Everyday Tips, I always struggle with including personal things on my site. Thanks for the encouragement!

@ Joe, 39 years?!?! Wow, that’s amazing. It’s a good thing to see that you’re still in love!

@ Teri, it’s a good thing I can’t find the “ban from this site permanently” button!

Again, to everyone that commented, you helped to make our anniversary special!

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14 Forest

Hey Khaleef, an absolute beautiful tribute to your marriage and wife. I hope she does read this and see how much you really care for her.

I don’t put my faith in Christ or God (I hope that does not seem disrespectful) but I have respect for people who do and I have met many good Christians and other religious people in my life so I understand how much the inclusion of God in your life is helping you to forge a steel strong marriage.

Here is raising a glass or wine, juice, water, tea or whatever your drink of choice is to the next 50 years :).

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15 Amanda L Grossman

Hi knsfinancial! It’s Amanda from Yakezie.

This is a very sweet post. Thank you for sharing, and congratulations!

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16 jonarthan@Buffalo photographer

Congratulation! For being together from four years. I read the story you wrote, its nice, and the pics are also nice, how nicely you celebrated your fourth anniversary. Hope like this only you celebrate your all anniversaries….

God Bless You…….

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17 Luceanna

Excellent. excellent post. You guys really make me proud. It’s so nice to see how I was right about Sherrian from the very beginning.(sorry i had to throw that in there) Nope you won’t live that down. Since Me and Kerlis have moved up to the old married couple status, Keep setting such an awesome example to other Christian couples; you are honoring God by doing that.
Although I got the best husband in the world, I would definitely vote you 1st runner up Khaleef.; and you know thats a great compliment
Luv you both

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18 mica

Nice

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19 Budgeting in the Fun Stuff

Happy Anniversary! Congratulations on finding each other and making it through the hard times as well as the happy ones!

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20 Cheena

Wow Khaleef – this is beautiful! What an inspiration. I believe that you are one in a million. Congratulations.

God bless you and Sherrian. May you continue to keep Him as your center as you grow together, love eachother and “spend the rest of your lives” together.

Your friend in Christ,
Cheena

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21 Andrew

This is an amazing post! Thank you for sharing and the story is beautiful.

I wish you both the best in your amazing relationship.

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22 Car Negotiation Coach

Khaleef, the best to both of you and many more years of happiness!

I won’t be showing this to my wife as we come up on our 3rd anniversary…you’ll make me look bad! I’ll be in great shape if I can do something 1/10th as nice as this post. :)

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23 Carol

Awww that was so special. Happy Anni to both of you and God Bless you both now and always!

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24 Valerie Tillery

Absolutely beautiful and a guide to how marriage should be…You both are so blessed to have each other…Khaleef what an amazing and insightful piece of writing!!! It has truly blessed me.

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25 Everyday Tips

What a wonderful post. You don’t always have to write about personal finance, I like to hear some about the writer’s life too.

I agree with a previous commenter, you sound like a seasoned husband. In tough times, go back and re-read this post. Life sure can be difficult sometimes, but just keep leaning on and trusting each other and you will be fine.

Congratulations!

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26 Dodi

Just want to say congrats to you two. Khaleef, you write as tho you were well seasoned as a husband. Don’t ever lose that zeal and be sure to let Sherri know EVERY DAY how much you value her and Sherri, you do the same!!!!

Wow, that brought me to tears… again, congratulations…

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27 Farley

Well said Mr. Khaleef.

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28 April

This article is amazing and a blessing to read. I pray that you both have many more years of blessings and favor in your marriage. I am grateful and blessed to be apart of your lives as well. This article had truly inspired me to be better and stronger in my marriage, and not to take for granted the love ones around you. So a warning for you please don’t become aggrevated when I start calling to come around more, or requesting a niece or nephew ..lol. I love you brother and sister from April( sister in law)

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29 Stacey

WOW!!! That was awesome Khaleef. I can see the growth in you over the years. I’m so proud of you and the direction God is leading you both. Happy Anniversary Khaleef and Sherrian! I pray God give you exceedingly, abundantly above all you ask or think according to the power that works in us. Well, I need to redo my list I made on the type of husband I want God to send me. I miss couple of things.

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30 Kelly Simpson

Wow! That has got to be the most touching post I have read. Congrats on the 4 year mark.

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31 Joe Plemon

Khaleef,
I am so glad you decided to write this anniversary post. I soaked it up, reflecting over my 39+ years of marriage, remembering our good times and not so good, and once again rejoicing in how God has given me such a great wife.

I love your family pictures and am so happy for you that both families are encouraging and supporting.

And your “to my wife” section was nearly a tear jerker! I, like you, can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with my wife. I don’t know about you, but I definitely “married up”.

Happy Anniversary!

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32 Lisa Walker

OMG!!! This is beautiful. I can only hope to have or find what you to seem to have. Bless you too…

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33 Teri

This article was soooo touching (*tear). You are truly blessed to have found someone to put up with all your mess. Mrs. Sherriann deserves an award for listening to your right-wing ideals, shopping with 150 coupons for a gallon of milk and I’m sure listening more than she talks. God has a special place in heaven for her, lol.

Congratulations, may God continue to bless you with many more years!

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34 Mrs. Not Made of Money

That was really beautiful. Congratulations and Happy Anniversary!

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35 Jesse

Congrats! Four years is still beating the average my friend! My wife and I just silently celebrated our fourth in May.

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36 Joseiy

My God……That was beautiful!! Beautifully written and definitely heartfelt. U guys are an amazing couple and only God could have made something so divine.

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37 Carol@inthetrenches

Amen. You have the true riches of God.

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