Frugally Proud

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So many times when we approach the idea of wealth, or at least the desire to be wealthy, it is in a negative sense. There is a two-fold reason for this. First, the Bible repeatedly warns believers about desiring to be rich. Some examples of this can be seen in:

1 Timothy 6:9 But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction.

Hebrews 13:5 Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you,”

Luke 12:15 Then He said to them, “Beware, and be on your guard against every form of greed; for not even when one has an abundance does his life consist of his possessions.”

Let’s be clear, the Bible is not against rich people, nor against those who are prospering and being good stewards over their money. The problem comes when wealth and riches take a foothold in our heart. When money is no longer a tool, but a goal, and (we believe) the source of our happiness and confidence.

Is it a sin to be rich?

Secondly, the reason we caution so greatly against the desire for wealth on this site is because there are so many areas of Christendom that speak directly against these warnings the Bible give. People are taught to go after riches, and are even taught that their wealth and success are directly tied to their faith, thereby implying that one’s favor before God is equated to the level of one’s income.

We could discuss those things further, but it has always been my contention that when it comes to our finances (and every other area of life), our character is the real issue. What is happening inside our hearts?

As I was scrolling through our Netflix listings the other day to see what was recently added, I saw a show that I thought would be of interest to Khaleef and myself called “Extreme Cheapskates”. As we watched, there were many things that stood out about the participants  (whether by the show’s design or their true nature) that we commented on; but there was a common thread among most of the people on the show that was noticeable – their pride.

Cheap and Proud Sign

For these participants, their frugal ways weren’t a matter of doing what’s best for their families or carrying on learned behavior or psychological tendencies – they displayed a posture of being better than everyone else because of the ways they were outsmarting the “system” or other people.

There was one gentleman who cared more about his frugal ways than the way it affected his really gracious wife. She asked that he not approach strangers for their left-over food for just one night (their anniversary); but before their meal was done he was begging at another table, and she was out the door because of shame.

As I pondered the behavior we saw, and there’s no denying some of it was for the shock and entertainment value, I reflected on: what was being displayed before me, things I have thought or done myself, and the behavior of people I’ve known.

Just as easy as it has been for people to say,”Look at what I’ve bought!” or “Look what I’ve done!” –  it’s been just as easy to say, “Look how I outsmarted the salesman!” or “Look how much I’ve saved!”

The one scripture that comes to mind is Jeremiah 29:23-24

23 Thus says the Lord, “Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, and let not the mighty man boast of his might, let not a rich man boast of his riches;

24 but let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the Lord who exercises loving-kindness, justice and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things,” declares the Lord.

It’s remarkable, looking at it now, that even before calling out the rich man, the verse starts with the wise man. Even when we are wiser in our decisions, what are our motives when we share those truths with others? What is in our hearts? How much pride do we take in what we say. Do we say,”Look how brilliant I am?”

1 John 2:16 teaches  “For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world“. The boastful pride of life can do with how much we preserve and save in the same way it can mean what we earn, consume, and purchase to show for it.

It has been a very humbling lesson to learn that even in frugality and wisdom there can be an extreme. In anything on this earth, we can find a way to sin and be dishonoring to the God who gives us everything. In times of plenty and times of lack, my prayer is that I will be grateful and humble.

Have you noticed any prideful tendencies in unexpected areas/ways? How do you address issues of pride in your own life?

 

Today Is Our 7 Year Wedding Anniversary

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Seven years ago today I became one with the woman of my dreams. Over the last seven years we have been through a lot in our marriage and I have been fortunate enough to be able to share some of my reflections after the fourth, fifth, and sixth years of marriage.

I won’t go repeating all those things here, because honestly I still feel exactly the same. I still know that an order from marriage to work, we have to serve, respect, and love each other the way that God commands; and honoring God needs to be the top priority in our marriage.

I choo choo choose you

Celebrating Our 7 Year Wedding Anniversary

However, I do want to take the time to thank my wife for being the most amazing person to me. She continues to love and support me in so many ways. I don’t know where I would be without a woman like that by my side, and I thank God that I haven’t had to find out. She overlooks my shortcomings, forgives my mistakes, and always makes me feel loved and appreciated.

Over the last year, I would estimate that we have had our worst stretch physically in a very long time. We have talked about some of what we have gone through on our blogs and even my YouTube channel, but of course we haven’t shared all the details.

Us going through these difficult times has really seemed to bring us closer together. The more we have to rely on God and each other during times of suffering, the more our love continues to grow. So even with her chronic migraines, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, along with my Crohn’s disease, and extremely low testosterone with all of its symptoms, our marriage continues to thrive and I wouldn’t change a thing (except of course for me to be less sinful, less selfish, and more loving)!

I would really appreciate it if you took the time to read the articles linked above (I’ll link them here in case you’re too lazy to scroll up) that I wrote after four years, five years, and six years of being married – and share with us your thoughts and reflections.

Sherrian and I at Wedding

To all of our family and friends, I just want to thank you for helping us build a strong and loving marriage. Your prayers, examples, and even the time you spend with us means a lot, and our marriage would not be where it is today without all of you.

To my wife: I love you, sweetheart, and I pray that God will give us many years together to continue to grow in Christ and grow in our love toward one another.

The True Remedy For Anxiety! – Devotion

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Each Sunday, I try to post a devotional thought for you to meditate on. Sometimes it will be something out of my own studies and prayers. Other times – like today – it will be from another source.

Today, I am posting a great thought  from James Smith reminding us that God’s love and care should eliminate all anxiety, courtesy of Grace Gems:

(James Smith, “The True Remedy!” 1856)

Another soul-disorder is anxious care. Worry or anxiety is prohibited by the gospel, because it is injurious to us, and reflects badly upon the care and kindness of God. Yet we, like Martha–are anxious and troubled about many things. We lose sight of the fact that God is our Father, and as such, He is engaged to provide for us. We forget that . . .
we are in our Father’s world,
we are living under our Father’s eye,
we are fed by our Father’s hand, and
our interests lie near our Father’s heart!

The true remedy for anxious care is to realize daily, and every hour of every day . . .
that the Lord cares for us,
that He knows where we are, and what we are,
that He has fixed the bounds of our habitation,
that His feeding the sparrows, is a proof that He will never neglect His children.

Anxiety! As a believer in Jesus, as a child of God–about what should I be anxious?

God is my Father, and He loves me–loves me just as He loves Jesus!

He cares for me–cares for me as much as He cared for the apostle Paul.

He watches over me, as a tender mother watches over her precious infant!

He keeps me–keeps me as the apple of His eye; and lest anything should hurt me, He will keep me night and day. He bids me cast every care upon Him. He exhorts me not to worry about anything–but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, to let my requests be made known unto Him.

This is the true remedy for anxious care:
to live in close and intimate fellowship with God, and cast all my cares upon Him as they come in;
to live realizing the fact, that I am the object of the constant, tender, loving care of God–that my God cares for me, for my best interests, for my everlasting welfare!

Yes, this is the only true remedy!

Trying To Pray For Money: Why Isn’t God Answering?

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[This is a guest post from Andrea at So Over Debt about trying to pray for money. Visit her site or follow her on Twitter to read more about her journey toward a better financial future.]

A popular joke tells us about a man whose neighborhood is flooding. The man climbs on his roof and prays that God will save him from the rising waters. Rescue crews come in boats and a helicopter to help, but the man is adamant that he has faith in God’s ability to save him.

The man eventually drowns, and when he arrives in heaven, he questions St. Peter about why God didn’t answer his prayer. Peter responds, “He sent you three boats and a helicopter – what more do you want?”

Does God Want Us To Pray For Money?

The Prayer Rug

Last week I received a strange letter in the mail. It contained a “prayer rug” that I’m supposed to kneel on while asking God to bless me financially, then return to the church. Oh, and I’m also supposed to send the church a donation to enable other people to receive prayer rugs. Now, I’m very supportive of diverse religious beliefs, and I would never dismiss another person’s faith just because it’s different from my own.

But seriously? A piece of paper is going to bring me untold riches, especially if I send money to a church that I’m not even sure is an actual church? Along with the prayer rug, I also received a pamphlet with testimonials from satisfied customers prayer rug recipients. Apparently one lady received $46,000 and paid off all her debts. Another person was able to buy 17 acres of land.

The pamphlet quotes Deuteronomy 28:6, “Wherever you go and whatever you do, you will be blessed.” I have to admit, I was kind of tempted to kneel on the prayer rug and ask for money, just to see if it worked. But then I felt like I’d be struck by lightning for treating God like a piggy bank. As I considered this odd letter, though, I realized that some people treat God and prayer that way all the time, only without a paper rug to kneel on.

The Purpose of Prayer

I’m not saying it’s horrible to pray for God’s help. We are all familiar with the apostle Paul’s advice to “pray without ceasing.” But some may be less familiar with Romans 8:26, where Paul states “We do not know how to pray as we should.” For many, prayer has become a self-centered list of all the things we want God to give us, like He’s some kind of genie or divine ATM.

Instead of being thankful for the blessing in our lives and praying for others, sometimes we have a wishlist that would rival a child’s letter to Santa! [Learn what the bible says about being content in all situations]

In Matthew 6, Jesus teaches us how to pray:

  • (6:9) We should give honor to God.
  • (6:10) We should pray for God’s will to be done in our lives.
  • (6:11) We should pray for our daily needs to be met.
  • (6:12) We should ask for forgiveness for our sins, and forgiveness for the sins of others.
  • (6:13) We should ask God to keep us from being tempted.

Now where does Jesus tell us to ask for money? Some would argue that verse 6:11 makes it okay; after all, we can’t meet our daily needs for food, shelter, and clothing without a way to pay for it. And I would say that it is perfectly okay to pray for help if you are going without things like food – this post isn’t directed toward those with major needs.

In my own life right now, I am fortunate to be able to meet my needs. The Lord has provided me with a job – not one that I love, but one that pays the bills. My son and I are healthy. I have money in savings in case something goes wrong. So if I prayed for money right now, what exactly would I use it for? To pay off my debt? That would be great, but I’m paying off my debt (slowly) already, and going into debt was a choice. To buy more stuff? That doesn’t really fit in the “needs” category. In my opinion, it would be a slap in God’s face to ask for more when I have so much.

Pray For Money: Why Ask for Something You Already Have?

In the beginning of this post, I mentioned a joke about a man who was so busy looking for God’s help, he missed the help God was trying to send him. Praying for money works the same way. I know what it’s like to wonder how to afford groceries after the bills are paid. I remember the days when I begged the power company not to turn off my electricity before I got paid on Friday. And I know how miserable it is to live that way.

However, I never once starved or went without. Why? Because I already had enough money to do the things I needed to do, and when pushed, I could find ways to access it by giving up non-necessities. God already gave me the skills and knowledge to get a job, as well as a paycheck every two weeks. Is it God’s fault that I was spending money on stuff I didn’t need? Nope.

When I had financial problems, I prayed constantly for something to change. At times, I became frustrated because it seemed God wasn’t answering me. But now I realize He gave me the answers before I even asked – I just had to look within myself to find them.

When I got serious about getting out of debt, I was already blessed in many ways before anything even happened. I was smart enough to figure out what got me into my financial mess in the first place. I was fortunate enough to have help from my parents. I was able to afford internet access, which allowed me to read personal finance blogs and devise a plan.

When I figured out I needed more income and was actually willing to do something about it, I was able to find a second job relatively quickly. [Find out how to honor God in the workplace] Things like this were God’s answers to my prayers.

Back to Prayer

I’m not here to judge other people. I’m the first to admit that I haven’t always used prayer the way I should, especially where money is concerned. And I have no way to know who will read this and what your situation is. However, I can guess that you may be here reading Faithful With A Few because you are dealing with your finances in some way.

If you are going through a tough time, lean on God and your family until things get better. Try praying the way the Bible says we should – from our hearts, not from our empty wallets – and keep praying. I can almost guarantee you will never wake up to find a pile of money on your porch, but I know God has a plan in place to correct your money issues. He doesn’t need to send you a prayer rug or anything else! You have all the tools you need; just pray for the wisdom to use them in a way that honors God and improves your quality of life.

photo by Ambro

A Lesson About The True Value Of Possessions

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About a week and a half ago, my wife and I took a trip out of state in order to watch our niece graduate from college. Once we got back home, my wife noticed that her car was damaged (no, that’s not our car in the photo). Of course, whoever hit our car didn’t bother to leave a note or contact one of the neighbors.

Due to the location, extent, and shape of the damage, I believe that it was either a garbage truck or delivery truck that hit our car. It was mangled pretty bad on the front, driver-side corner, leaving the headlight and signal light exposed and dangling.

Since it is an old car, we do not have collision coverage on it. If it was just a cosmetic issue, then we would just live with it, but the damage was enough for us to get a traffic ticket while driving (especially with the cops in this state 😡 ), so we had to get it fixed.

Instead of think about how ugly the car now is, or how much money it will take to fix it, my mind immediately focused on God. I have really been thinking lately about the fact that we as Christians should not worry about earthly treasures or possessions. Listen to what Jesus had to say about this topic:

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. ~ Matthew 6:19-21

I know not to place any value in my cars or other possessions (I’m working on the laptop, but I’m getting there ;-)), because they are just temporal and can easily be destroyed, stolen, or malfunction – they can also be replaced! I need to place value in the things which matter to God. If I lose some possession, that should not affect my mood or joy at all.

The things which hold my affection, and are valuable to me should be the heavenly treasures which the bible promises to believers. Along the same lines, there is another thought that has been in my heart lately, and it is expressed in Hebrews 11:13-16:

All these died in faith, without receiving the promises, but having seen them and having welcomed them from a distance, and having confessed that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. For those who say such things make it clear that they are seeking a country of their own.

And indeed if they had been thinking of that country from which they went out, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God; for He has prepared a city for them.

My true home is in heaven, and as such, I know that I am not trying to establish an “empire” here. As Christians, our purpose is not to simply amass a ton of riches and possessions in this life, but we are to honor and glorify God in all that we do (1 Corinthians 10:31). That doesn’t mean that we can’t work hard or have wealth, but it does mean that we can’t make it our goal.

Since I am nothing more than an exile and sojourner on this earth, I am content as long as I have enough to sustain me, while I travel to my real home. If I have to drive around in a car that has a huge gash and plenty of dents, then I’m fine with that!

I think I will actually write more about this thought in an organized manner in the future, but I just wanted to get this out there, since this experience really made me reflect on this truth once again.

Oh, here’s the great thing about the car. We took it to our mechanic, and they managed to secure the lights and smooth out the tears and gashes enough so that we don’t cut ourselves when standing next to the car. When we called him to find out how much it would cost us, he let us know that he did it for free! That reinforces God’s promise found in Matthew 6: 25-33

For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?

And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith!

Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

If we focus on God, and not spend so much time worrying how every small detail of our life is going to come together – especially when it regards the basic necessities of life – then God will provide those things for us. Of course, I don’t always expect to get services for free, but it is great to see things work out when we rely on God!

photo by betty x1138